Thakur, Tals aur Tatti : A Weekend Getaway to Mukteshwar

People in Delhi are rude, obsessively loud, too outspoken, overly flashy and what not. I had come with this notion to this new city and was wondering whether I’ll be able to enjoy the bond of friendship; even 0.1% of what I’ve had in the past.Well, GOD has its own way of throwing things at you; when you least expect it to be.So, one fine day I was going home after work in Metro and came across this person; Mayank Singh.

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After breaking the ice,he started to talk and seemed pretty genuine. He spoke about close to 15 minutes on a trot; just about CARS. I know about cars as much as Rahul Gandhi knows about Politics. So, I was nodding as I didn’t wish to interrupt his flow. This guy is insanely crazy about cars. He’ll just have a look at the headlight of any car and all its specs would be on his fingertips. I mean, when people who are passionate about something, it is evident from their eyes when they speak. The same was being reflected from his’. That was the second hint that okay we could be friends. First was his over-gapodi and jolly nature. And the fact that he told me that he belonged to UP, not Delhi; was an icing on the cake.

And did I mention that we used to work in the same office! From that day, every morning we used to greet each other with swears and our divine love for “aalo patty” did the rest of the bonding. Then, after a few days, Karim’s happened. Trust me, some booze, good food and craziness is all it takes to transcend the bond to a next level. Within no time, we were chuddy buddies. Eventually I had started to show my grey side – where I can choke anyone to death with my lame jokes and it was too late for him to back-out now.

After a week or so we thought of making the full of the extended weekend and immediately the trip was on. The best part about this dumbass is that he doesn’t plan things. May be he does at the back of his head but he believes in executing things more. The same evening we were off for the mountains. No packing, no reservations.

The trip started off with a bang! We gatecrashed a wedding. Hogged some amazing aaloo tikkies and the the journey was sorted. Then comes a twist. A good one! Rishab aka Baba joins the two of us in the trip.

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Loaded with gadgets and candies, Baba Mayank’s closest aide from college; adds an extra dimension to the awesomeness of the trip. Mayank was on the controls, the driving seat; Baba on the front and I as usual chilling at the back with a bottle in one hand and a pack of chips in the other, grooving to the some amazing Punjabi tracks. 3 Peg by Sherry Mann eventually became the trip-anthem. We literally lived to each and every word of its lyrics.

On the way, we halted at Shiva Dhaba, Hapur and at some unknown place in Rampur and finally arrived to Nainital at about 5:30 in the morning. So, I have this super-power ability to sleep off anytime. Like I can sleep even on a roller coaster and this lose Mayank was aware of it, so he made sure I don’t even sleep for a minute. Hard brakes, throwing water on my face, abruptly incraesing the volume of the songs and zig-zag movement of the car were some cheap tactics applied by this gentleman.

Mayank’s balls start to ache if everything is going as per the plan and he decides for all of us that Nainital seemed to mainstream and we are chucking it and heading towards someplace else, preferably with lesser people and more fun. So, Muktehswar was on.

“Hey dude, but what about Potty ?”, I asked him with a grin on my face.

I was under the asssumption that we’ll hit Nainital, check-in and freshen up. Also, your belly is in synch with your thoughts and it automatically gets ready to poop. I was like I need to take a dump, man ! Screw you and your plan.

“Bhai aaj to kuch toofani hoga, jo tune kabhi na kia ho”, were his golden words to my query. I lost it totally. I didn’t care about anything except, potty. That was all I wanted to do that moment.

”Haan to wohi bol raha hu, chal aaj khulle mein lutfa uthate hain”, Thakur was in in full form. Bring it down. Let’s defecate in open.

Look at the view, the breeze and the backdrop. Shit is about to get real. Bro, be a man. Go over there and squat ! Somehow he convinced me. I took my share of the toilet roll and looked for my spot. I geared up, found the place, kicked a few pebbles, rested my feet firmly and the pant was down in a flash. The sun was up. Those misty winds flirting with your butts, birds chirping and Ilahi playing on the phone simply made it the holliest shit of my life. My words cannot do justice to that epic feeling. It was the eve of Shivratri and were on top of the mountain,  put up in the best Guest House by Kumaon Govt; closest to Shiva’s abode.

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He did have a great time on Shivratri as we had stopped at Garh Mukteshwar, which is like Mini-Haridwar on the way. People were tripping on Shankar jee, smoking chillums and dancing to the intoxicating trance which was being played for the Kawadiyas. Then we climbed to the railway tracks, sat on the platform for a long time and without talking too much observed life at 3 in the morning. It is probably the finest dawns I’ve ever experienced; all thanks to Mayank.

Baba’s sublime touch was visible when we started to hop the cafes the next day and came across this insane family; whom we met at every place we went. The family consisted of a show-off mother, two brat kids and an overly pampered dog. They reflected everything I hate about Delhi. The dog was insane. He hated men and the family spoke in English throughout and a sense of plasticity was evident amongst them as depicted in the movie Dil Dhadakne Do. Baba left no stone unturned to comment on anything that they uttered. We all spent the entire evening laughing. Baba even made us forget the hopeless pizzas and pastas we all had to eat. Baba rocks.

Too bad that the dog didn’t entertain us. But Pahari (Hilly) dogs are awesome. Furry balls of love they are. They make sure you pamper them and they will hike the mountains with you throughout.

The only bad part about the entire trip was that I couldn’t read. Rather, these two jokers didn’t let me read my book. Okay, not showing off but I usually do carry a book along wherever I go – be it a bus, car; specially when I’m in the mountains. The uddand (notorious) duo made sure I hit my record worst. I could hardly read 5 pages in those 2 days. Nonetheless, I had fun.

To beat the cold in the nights, whisky was poured, glasses used to clinker, extra quilts were put on, life was discussed and the toasts were raised to a lifelong friendship. Cheers!

On the way back we visited a few Tals and did some touristy stuff in Nainital.

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Don’t forget to try the Bal Mithai and Sonam’s Momos when you are on the Mall Road. Stay tuned for the next tale.



 

 

 

 

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