Ever wondered how does it feel to not have a job? I mean when you had a job once but you are no longer employed, neither are you working for yourself. It happens when either you’ve been sacked, you’ve quit or you do not know what to do with your life anymore.
It’s scary! Been there, done that. I belong to the league where I had quit my white-collared 9-5 IT job which paid enough to have arranged a good Punjabi bride at the age of 25. Instead, I ran behind my dreams, invested my time and money into my passion, found my true love in the process and started my own company which failed miserably after a year or so. But it did teach me the most valuable lessons of my life.
The failure made sure that I realize the value of money. Who your real friends are? How badly your relatives want you to fail and more importantly what I wanted to do in my life. So, coming back to the phase where my parents wanted me to go back sit in the same air-conditioned office which suffocated me every time I wrote a line of code. I was sure that I wanted to be into associated with writing, something which I really liked or the only thing you could say I was good at.
I was at the crossroads, torn apart between a failed son and a rising self. That was the phase of a few days, I mean very few wherein I was at home, doing nothing and everything pointed to just one thing – you are a loser man!
Here are the things which make you feel worse! –
a) Your parents think you have lost it. You are a just an immature kid who doesn’t have any sense of direction in life.
b) Actually they don’t think that. The relatives make them feel so. I honestly, despise majority of them for the very same reason. They make you feel like a piece of shit. Everything boils down to just two things -CTC & BHKs. It depresses you to the very core.
c) Your confidence is crushed every time when you open Facebook.
d) You overthink and every statement made by others either looks like a taunt, sarcasm or an insult.
e) You start doubting yourself whether are you the good for nothing guy, really?
f) The above point becomes too overpowering when the maid asks the question everyday– “Bhaiya aaj bhi office nahi gaye?”
g) You cut down on your hobbies, your lifestyle and and basically self-pity takes over.
h) You become desperate to not talk to anyone, you keep sinking in a cocoon.
Okay, enough of sad stuff, now the positives. –
a) Since, you do not have money at all, you learn how to survive with the bare minimum necessities. Eggs and Maggi become your best friends. Also, your liver thanks you every day for giving it a break.
b) You start valuing your skill.
c) You figure out people you can bank upon. Ultimately it boils down to your parents and 1-2 very close friends at max. I was lucky, I had another very special person backing me all the way. My Love!
d) Auto- decluttering: Time has its own means to filter out people from your life. I wouldn’t say that crap – We are all busy. We need not stay in touch but at the end, I’ll be there. Bullshit! If you haven’t heard from me in 6 months, I’ve cut you off!
e) You start appreciating small things.
f) You realize that it’s a fake world.
Ultimately, time and your passion heals everything. I too moved on gracefully in a span of a few days.
I’m not the advice person usually but this phase can fuck you big time, so, one advice I would like to give is to be on top of your game – you should be good at what you are doing/ intend to do and never listen to anyone. Go blindly with your heart. You have nothing to lose as you’ve already hit the rock-bottom and you’ll eventually earn your money and self-respect back.