Lucia hits Gayle’s nervous system, switches him to Godzilla mode.

Anti-doping agency has confirmed that just before the match Christopher Henry Gayle took a sip of Kingfisher beer, which seem to be adulterated with Lucia medicine. The probe was initiated as Chris Gayle (who hasn’t played for the need of the nation since the inception of the IPL) scored a barbaric double ton today against Zimbabwe.

Gayle has admitted that due to the chemical locha, he could see Vijay Mallya hovering over his head and was allegedly tricked that it was a RCB game and he wasn’t using his skill for free for the Caribbean board. With every ball that he faced, he could hear a voice that said “Every six is proportional to a date with the Kingfisher calendar girl. #SwalpaHitMaadi” and that kept him going for the kill.

This was batting today,not Chris Gayle

This was batting today,not Chris Gayle

The effect of the medicine was prominent till he reached the 200 mark but by the time he regained his consciousness the damage was already done. Meanwhile Gayle has been roped in as the brand ambassador of a new North Korean medicine brand  – “Being Inhumane” .The PR agencies have suggested that due to his extraordinary dancing skills he was offered the contract as a potential threat to South Korea’s PSY.

On a funny note, here is the match summary (Please give a damn!)
Feb 24, 2015: Canberra, Australia
WI – 372/2 (50 Overs) defeated Zim 289/10 (44.3 overs) D/L Method
MoM- Chris Gayle for his monstrous knock of 215 off 147 balls and a spell of 6-35-2.

Sasural Shikhar Ka

Last evening when Shikhar Dhawan was grooming his mustache while the team was practicing for the big game against the Proteas, Dhawan got a call. To his sheer surprise his mother-in-law had called, with whom he hadn’t spoken in ages. Who would’ve thought a phone call from a saasu maa, would’ve changed the course of the game and history would be re-written.

Look son, it’s an ultimatum call for you. We cannot even go out in the colony.
Considering your current form and the rate at which our neighbors are teasing us, I think we will have to relocate unless you start performing.

Hail Dhawan !

Dhawan giving Choke-slam to the Proteas!

It made Shikhar re-think on his game plan and he skipped the mustache grooming session and Dhawan was seen practicing in the nets today morning. Rest is history.
Courtesy his fearless choke slams, India defeated South Africa in the World Cups in the fourth head-to-head encounter finally.

On a funny note, here is the match summary (In case you wish to give a damn!)
Feb 22, 2015                                                                                 Melbourne, Australia
India – 307/7 (50 Overs) defeated SA 177/10 (40.2 overs)
MoM- Shikhar Dhawan for his fearless knock of 137 off 146 balls.

Sewaiyaan triggers Pakistani batting collapse, reveals Pakistan Bureau of Investigation.

Christchurch: Pakistani team seemed confident after the Caribbean boys put just 310 runs on the board, which was in sync with the Whatsapp message that predicted easy win for the men in green. Investigations revealed that during the innings break, while walking back to the pavilion Pakistani fielders saw a few fans eating Sewaiyaan and carrying a poster inviting them to have them outside.

#WontGiveItBack

#WontGiveItBack

Tempted with the invitation, Misbah discussed it with the team. Finally a unanimous call was taken that a plate full of Sewaiyaan is any day better than the empty cup and let’s finish the innings ASAP.Now the tussle started over the opening slot as to the surprise Misbah started padding up. Shehzad and Jamshed opposed the captain and claimed

that as openers they should get the chance to get out first to taste the sewaiyaans. Shehzad, Jamshed,Haris and Younis were already outside the stadium by the time Pakistan made just 1 run hunting for the sewaiyaan guy. They saw a food-truck parked nearby with a lot of WEST-Indian fans.The Paki fab-4 inquired about the sewaiyaan, to which everyone replied #WontGiveItBack and offered them a complimentary dhokla.

The fab-4 rushed back to the dressing room to inform that it was a hoax call. By the time they were back Pakistan was already 25-5 and a padded Misbah was rushing out to get his share.After knowing the grim reality he passed the message to the on-pitch pair to bat sensibly as they were fooled. Maqsood and Akmal gave it a shot but it was too late.

Meanwhile, the matter got escalated and we may see a sewaiyaan ban in Pakistan.

On a funny note, here is the match summary (In case you wish to give a damn!)
Feb21, 2015                                                                             Christchurch, New Zealand
Pak– 160/10 (39 Overs) Lost to WI 310/6 (50 overs)
MoM- Andre Russell for his all-round performance of 33-3 and 42 off 13 balls with the bat.

Morgan threatens to quit The Great England Looser Pvt Ltd.

Wellington : After seeing the company’s dismal performance in the last quarter as well, the Chief Solution Architect, Eoin Morgan has shown serious intentions of quitting the company.

When inquired about the sudden disinterest towards the company Morgan became extra frank and quoted “Tumse Na Ho Payega” and did show a positive inclination towards joining a bright Irish start up- TheCricketGully.

Welcome back boy !

Welcome back boy !

After a serious debate with the HR and senior partners,the company has come to a conclusion that they will re-hire Kevin Pietersen on his recommendation. This is a direct message to sideline Chutiya management policies and to bring in a fresh perspective.

Meanwhile Morgan’s Whatsapp status reads -“Yo Bitch! Welcome back”

 

 

On a funny note, here is the match summary (In case you wish to give a damn!)
 Feb 20, 2015                                                                   Wellington,New Zealand
Eng – 123/10 (33.2 Overs) Lost to New Zealand 125/2 (12.2 overs)
MoM- Tim Southee for his magnificent spell of 33-7.
#WC2015 #FekuSingh

Zimbabwe beats UAE. Awww wave hits the UAE kids

NZ: The UAE Sheikh Khalifa Bin Zayed Al Nahyan seemed pleasingly happy after UAE was put to bat by the Zimbabwean captain Elton Chigumbura on a good batting track. The Arabs placed a great 285 runs total on the board. But his happiness was only a short lived affair just like Shahid Afridi’s most of the innings. The men in red chased the total with ease leaving the Sheikh furious and fuming after the loss.

Hail Chigumbura

Hail Chigumbura

Now, the Sheikh wants every team to loose against them else the world faces the oil wrath.Concerned about the humanity, Chigumbura took a brave move and gave a stringent reply to the Sheikh as he urged the Zimbabwean Govt. to cut the supply on the export of the African baby elephants to the Arabs.

This triggered a serious Awww wave amidst the Arab kids and the zoo owners went berserk as well.Looking at the aww quotient, Sheikh apologizes and Chigumbura rises.

On a funny note, here is the match summary (In case you wish to give a damn!)
Feb19, 2015                                                                   Oval, Nelson, New Zealand
UAE – 285/7 (50 Overs) Lost to Zimbabwe 286/6 (48 overs)
MoM- Sean Williams for his brilliant knock of 76 off 65 balls.
#WC2015 #FekuSingh

Transformers: Raw Boys to Resilient Men(Under-26)

The piece of post contains the list of batsmen who have evolved from brash and talented bunch of folks to responsive and deliverable commodities in the cricketing household. Watch for these guys in 2015 (in all formats of the game) as they get transformed to real men,who now possess the ability to read the game and turn it single handedly through their sheer passion and commitment.


  1. Kane Williamson [24 years 120 days]
    New Zealand batsman Kane Williamson is one of the brightest sparks in the game today, and it should only be a matter of time before Williamson goes on to engrave his name among the likes of kiwi greats -Richard Hadlee and Martin Crowe.He has scored over 2600 runs from 34 Tests at a scintillating average over 40 .Without any elementary doubts,Kane is one of the complete players of modern day era. He already has made his way into the list of Top 10 New Zealanders to score most Test centuries for his country.With 7 centuries, he is next only to Sir Donald Bradman, Sachin Tendulkar and Sir Gary Sobers as a batsmen with most 100+ scores before turning 24.

    Williamson kick started his Test career by scoring 131 in his maiden Test innings against India in 2010 to become only the eighth New Zealander to score a century on his Test début. Later in 2012, he went on to play a match-saving unbeaten 102 in the fourth innings against the mighty Proteas.In the recent times after taking on the manhood in 2014,in his second tour of the West Indies in June 2014;Williamson finished as the top run-getter with 413 runs, including two hundreds that contributed to a historic series win for the kiwis.

    The innings of 192 against Pakistan is by far his best knock that reflects his character.Take a bow for that ! Williamson’s batting has reassured the team management, here’s a batsman who’s not just good enough in one format, but an asset who can bat classily at the No 3 position across formats.Kane averages over 40 in both Tests and ODIs.

    Williamson can well be compared to Virat Kohli, in terms of pacing his innings .He times the ball to perfection and is effortless in finding gaps. Williamson is rock solid and calm in everything . He not only defends sublimely but attacks with absolute control as well. His fastest CLT20 ton (of just 49 balls)playing for Northern Knights is the prime example of his adaptability,embracing the change of format.

    He is the complete man and the most apt batsman to endorse Raymond clothing.

    Kane Williamson - A legend in making.

    Kane Williamson – A legend in making.


  2. Steven Smith[25 years 187 days]
    Capable of taking the attack to the opposition, never say die spirit and giving more than 100%in every game that’s what Steven Smith is all about.Smith is currently one of the finest fielder out there and the most innovative batsman as well.He came into limelight in the first innings of the last Test of the 2013 Ashes Series at The Oval,where he scored his maiden hundred,reaching the total in style by hitting a six off a spinner.Then in 2013 at Mohali, he demonstrated his true grit by absorbing the pressure and delivering at a crucial stage.Smith’s 92 was a message to the world that he is a dark horse who can take on the bowlers outside the sub-continent as well.

    Currently,he is proving to be a captain’s nightmare.After his back to back match winning knocks against the Proteas this is what ABD had to say-“You’re going to have to work hard for your wickets, and if you get a busy cricketer at the wicket it makes it very difficult for you to control the innings, to keep your rhythm and just to pace it a little bit better. He makes it really difficult for us in doing that “In the T20 format he is the go-to man for Rajasthan Royals.Smith is in such impressive touch across all formats that he should enter the Test series against India as Australia’s most in-form batsman.He has provided an example of how to grasp technical and mental maturity.Smith at the moment is the potential successor of Michael Clarke.

    Steven Smith- Future of Australian cricket.

    Steven Smith- Future of Australian cricket.


  3. Gary Ballance[25 years 14 days]

    His back to back tons at Lord’s and Rosebowl has not only made him earn the emerging cricketer of the year award but he has made him worthy enough to
    fill Trott’s shoes with extreme efficiency. The heavy built Zimbabwean born southpaw is only the third English player to have scored hundreds in his first two
    Lord’s Tests, after Andrew Strauss and Jonathan Trott. He is an exception catcher as well.He understands the importance of his wicket and the that’s clearly evident from the fact that he likes to spend time on the crease and tries to capitalise as much as he can. Currently Gary averages 61 from his 8 Tests. Watch out people. Be scared ! Very very scared of Gazza in the years in come.

    Gary Ballance- Lord of the Tests.

    Gary Ballance- Lord of the Tests


  4. Quinton De Kock [21 years 35 days]

    This boy has certainly come of age over the past few months.
    At 20,De Cock became the first Batsman in the ODIs to hit 3 centuries from 3 matches in the series.What made it more special was that De Kock had managed a 100% conversion rate from his fifties to hundreds;that showed no sign of ending, even after he turned 21.Quinny is equally a handy customer with the gloves as well.He is the fastest to get 50 dismissals in ODIs and 6 dismissals in a game.Also,he holds the honour of being the fastest to score 1000 runs in ODIs.

    “He plays a bit more fearlessly, takes on the bowling upfront and then settles in and gets the big runs. Quinny is a fearless cricketer but at the same time he is quite intelligent with the way he goes about his business. But he probably doesn’t think about the game as much as the other guys which is a positive.The way Quinny plays has been very refreshing for us. He can obliterate any bowling attack.
    He is going to be a superstar”  -Amla on Kock.

    Quinton De Kock- The mini dynamo

    Quinton De Kock- The mini dynamo


  5. Ahmed Shehzad [23 years 13 days]
    The Kohli look alike is held in high regard in his country and is the most promising youngster out of the lot.Currently he averages 48 and 34 in Tests and ODIs respectively. Shehzad was exceptional with the bat against the mighty Ozies in UAE in 2014. His knock of 176 was by far his most composed innings. He has a lot to offer to the green caps.The gritty stroke maker is hopeful in ending his nation’s quest for a quality batsmen.

    Ahmed Shehzad - The Green Sparta

    Ahmed Shehzad – The Green Sparta

Ajinkya Madhukar Rahane : The Pursuit Of Versatility

As the name suggests,”Ajinkya” which means invincible;this Marathi boy is an insightful talent when it boils down to discipline and professionalism.

Calm,focused,introvert,gentleman and steady like an impregnable fortress,Rahane is an ideal Dravid prodigy. Ajinkya,with his technical eminence and stalwart demeanour has cemented his spot in the Indian line (both Tests and ODIs) with extreme delicacy.

The perfect straight drive.

The perfect straight drive.

Rohit is injured. Can you open ? YES!

Yuvraj is out of form.Can you reinforce the middle order ? YES!

The team is crumbling overseas.Can you bat at number 3 and anchor the innings? YES!

Slip cordon looks vulnerable.Can you stand at slips and pull off blinders? YES!

Team needs some buoyancy.Can you carry drinks? YES!

Within no time,the nifty right hander has evolved as the most faithful name in the Indian cricketing household and indeed Rahane is the epitome of a modern day versatile cricketer.

Epitome of versatility- Rahane

India’s current batting brigade with Rahane as the most versatile batsman

He has a subtle blend of timing ,artistry and aggression which not only has helped him flourish in the sub-continent but overseas as well,where others did struggle in the recent times.Till date I have not seen Rahane slog,exactly the way his mentor used to play.

With the mighty Australian tour lined up,his skills would come handy especially facing Mitchell Johnson. If he can shield the team from his wrath and try inspiring the team by sticking on the wicket,our young guns might turn out to be formidable.Also,Virat is sort of back in the form. Hence, I strongly believe that the duo of Rahane and Kohli have the balls to turn the tide this time. Hoping to witness a good show and #InRahaneKohliWeTrust trending in the Kangaroo land.

Rewinding a bit,Rahane incepted his vintage form from being called as The Night’s Watch for Rajasthan Royals in the IPL season 6. The boy had become a man back then.He scored 560 runs at a scintillating average of 40 from 16 games at a strike rate of
130,which included two classy knocks of 98 and 103* as well.

Tendulkar’s retirement proved a blessing in disguise for Ajinkya.He was offered a permanent berth in the Indian side at number 4.Finally,his patience paved off and that meant NO MORE BENCH for him.

Without seeking much of stardom,Rahane silently started putting some runs under his belt ,that too on the foreign soils.Right from 51* and 96 in Durban to 118 against the black caps,Rahane always kept his head high and did his job meticulously.Subsequently,his rock solid technique fetched him a ton at the Mecca of Cricket as well.That knock of 103 at Lords marked the dawn of a new phenomena – a phenomena of trust,hard work and consistency.He carried that momentum and scored a vintage ton at Birmingham in the third ODI in the same 2014 England tour.

A moment to cherish. Ton @ Lords.

A moment to cherish.Ton @ Lords.

Effortless straight drives,mighty pulls and a chip over cover are the prime ammunitions in his armoury.It’s a treat to watch him bat when he is on a song.But it is equally disheartening to see him throw his wicket after being well settled ,the way he did at
Dharamsala recently.The effort that he had putting scoring those 68 crucial runs went in vain.He certainly needs to work on that bit.

But let me tell you one thing very clearly.Whether it is Rahane ,Kohli or Pujara these lads should never be rated against the veterans.It is unfair for both the camps.Those legends belonged to a different ball game altogether.They played under different circumstances,under a different leader with a different mindset.Give them some time to explore,to struggle,to loose and to fight back.Trust me,you will eventually start looking up to them as well.

On a positive note,with the kind of form he is in both personally(just got married) & professionally,if he continues this sort of maturity for another year or so; I definitely see him steering team India to the paths of glory.