The city of Bangalore has a peculiar and charming way of surprising you every day. Today was nothing different; a holiday was given a day prior to the actual event. Mainu ki, I am going to enjoy my Pongal today. I kick start my day with some nice scrambled eggs and a toast on my plate, a cup of milk by its side and a refreshing episode of #FRIENDS on the television. I think it’s going to be calm and a decent day alone with Siddie not around. Deep inside I guess, everyone wants a life like theirs’. But that is way too perfect and too much to ask for. As I contemplate my life, think about the nut cases who have occupied a place in my eternal space-The Litlu World, I feel contented and quite overwhelmed.
These are the people who actually matter the most to me and who justify the saying “When life gives you lemonade, add Vodka!” in a true sense in my life. They are my true friends- with whom I enjoy the most. The fact that each one of them is more wonderfully weird than the other makes it even more interesting.
Let me share my list. I’ll start with a very special friend. He belongs to my Alma mater- Campus School, Vishal Kaushik aka Pandat Jee – The man of logics. He proudly holds the distinction of reaching a movie theater three hours prior to the show. Too much of punctuality makes you look like a fool, still he feels proud of this achievement. Digging a level lower, ancient forts and palaces are his favourite hangout places. I think the guards at the Humayun’s Tomb and Bangalore Palace know him by his name by now. Mr. Vishal comes to Bangalore and visits Bugle Rock first because going to Brigade Road is too main stream. Bugle Rock by the way is a massive 3000 million years old rock in the Basavanagudi area of South Bangalore. Ma Kasam and BKL are his favourite phrases. I even tried hooking him up with a good friend of mine but what he did no one would ever believe. He goes to her place and solves logical questions and discusses about the Indian economy with his potential date. Recently he has started going to pubs. I must warn you pretty ladies. Dhyaan se dekhiye, yahi hai woh launda jo aapko piya hua dekhkar aapse calculus ke sawaal pooch sakta hai aur jawaab naa dene par aapke IQ ka mazaak uda sakta hai. That is exactly what he is doing from the past couple of times. FYI the stud recently got a 98 %ile in the Common Aptitude Test. Brainy ladies catch hold of him in case you are reading this.
Adding another chuddy Campusite to the list, there you go Mr Himanshu Rajput- the Sardar Khan all way from UP. Known for his funny way of narrating things, he believes in throwing himself into new Snafus every now and then and there you go! You have a new story to tell. One simply doesn’t love his buffaloes more than his friends unless his name is Himanshu Rajput. There are not even slightest of traits of warrior ship in his genes. One thing he is damn good at it is he can survive for days without food, provided you give him a cell phone with good network connectivity and a sim card with unlimited talk time. He is extremely funny on all the days of the week excluding Fridays, when even I am scared to pick up his call. Also, I salute him for his supernatural ability to debate against Vishal.
Coming to the college buddies. When I saw him for the first time in my life he resembled John from Dhoom with a nice leather jacket, shabby long hair holding a bright yellow head gear in his hands surrounded with girls, waiting in style like a hero outside the class. This was when we just entered college. Being a Bollywood freak the way I had seen in movies, I thought boss lets have friendship with this guy. “Apne 4 saal to tashan mein chale jaenge. Pehle hi din gunday se dosti”. Eventually when we became friends,I realized he was a big time phattu like I was. We still share a hearty laugh over this whenever we talk about those wonderful days. I am talking about Arjun Karnwal-aka Mr. Click Me Please- The poser, he can give complex to even school girls in terms of giving poses and being clicked. He is that guy with whom everyone shares his secrets and says don’t tell this to anyone, it’s just between you and me. Ultimately everyone ends up knowing everything. Deep inside Mr. Karnwal thinks he is the next Rahman but I pity Thakur bhai for listening to his bathroom Riyaz that too every day. Also his Granny (naniji) is a well known figure in the group. For everything Naniji comes to his rescue. If you ask him bro lets go for a movie this weekend. His reply would be cannot make it Bro! Have to go and meet Naniji. OK how about cricket early morning? That too not possible have some pooja at Naniji’s place. I haven’t met her .But now I definitely would like to meet her sometime soon and I’ll make sure I have her contact number. But one thing is for sure he is the go to man. We both share a common trait of falling in love at first sight that too “sacha wala pyaar”. He is that friend with whom I cannot be serious at all unless I am fighting. I call him kakke di jaan. Yo Yo Honey Singh bhai!
Akash aka Chhotu is a happy go lucky person. Ideal Ram son the way Ram was. He is that mole in the group who’d be happy with his frooti but wants everyone to be high so that he can take their case properly. Do not get bowled over his innocence and chocolate boy looks, there is a naughty beast behind that mask. Just like the Bermuda triangle mystery there is one more mystery yet to be resolved. Why the hell nobody fights or get annoyed with this guy? Poor guy Arjun always gets framed.
Prateek – The Dude .The Macho Man. Born in water, raised on mountains. The glutton! Prateek one thing is for sure Arjun & Akash won’t spare you for the rest of your life for that “Shy and Robin Ronaldo story”. That has been recorded in the golden books of our friendship. Also I would agree that there is no rock bottom that these two can’t hit in terms of their PJ level.
Harsh is another eerie in the list. His ideology is simple – “Keep your friends close but your medicines even closer”. Looking at his physique and build you cannot make out that he would be a delicate dolly. You name a medicine, he has it. Heights were when he came to stay with me for the first time in Bangalore. Mr Harsh went for an evening stroll and ended up returning with medicines worth Rs. 500. Sometimes I feel it’s his hobby and he is obsessed with them. Because collecting stamps and coins is way too common for people. One simply doesn’t come up with lame excuses for not dating every time unless his name is Harsh Sheokand. This guy has every damn excuse not to date. You ask him anything the reply would be on these lines -” Bhai college mein mere batch mein achi ladkiyan nahi thi ab dekh Trivandrum mein machate hain”. Goes to Trivandrum & Mumbai ,still the same reply ” Yaar mera project hi ch$%iya hai”.Also you can find this alien laughing for hours late in the night over the phone .One day I was happy OK ! Finally he found his love other than physics and basketball. But to my sheer disappointment it was a guy over the call.
Rohith aka Daddy – is so particular about timelines that he even plans his date on an excel sheet. Here’s a glimpse of what this guy had in store for us for the last Goa trip. Yes that’s Rohith for you. Who the heck draws deadlines for chilling at a beach especially when you are in Goa? I think India’s next time zone should pass from Warangal, the place where Daddy stays. I pity his to be wife. Hope he doesn’t keep a time constraint on his honeymoon.
Chikara Sahab the ace shuttler aka Dhruv doesn’t belong to the list as he is too normal .But courtesy Shahrukh Khan ,our Dhruv makes it to the list for following him so passionately. Hail Chikara!
Siddharth aka Director Sahab is the one who heads everyone considering the amount of uncanny stuff that he does. I can write a book on him. I think this space is too less to describe his stature. A whole new post needs to be dedicated to Sid. Who on this planet locks himself up in someone else’s wardrobe and jumps out 3 O’ clock in the night to scare the shit out of him. Who returns from an all day long journey and starts cleaning the house and who goes to trips with friends and ends up joining “firangi gangs” .Well that’s Sid for you!
And the latest entry in the league of bizarre is someone who actually says “I am Switzerland” when she has to take a diplomatic stand. I call her Miss Toodles. Toodles is exactly the word she says when she means to say bye or see you.I think her trick is not to let people know how really surreal she is until it’s too late for them to back out.
Well, I feel so good being a part of their lives and equally embarrassed for being so normal.
PS: Sardana,Pinky,Jumbo,Jhandi you guys are equally important and treasured,it’s just that the above mentioned luminaries had a lot to offer to the mankind.
Nandini please don’t say ” Saala main ek saal videsh kya chali gayi,bhai behen ke pavitra rishte ko bhool gaya tu..Bloody dog you are..What the puff ! “